A Rose By Any Other Name

On October 17, 1988 MCA Records released an advance release tape on their small metal label, Mechanic Records. It contained two tracks, “Status Seeker” and “Ytse Jam” by a first-time Long Island, NY based band which called itself Majesty. (As everyone reading this knows by now, the second cut was a reverse of the letters in the band’s name.) One problem had already surfaced, however. A garage band in Las Vegas had registered the name for music acts or band. When approached by the label to grant the use of the name to the boys from Berklee, they demanded big bucks. “Extortion” cried the label. “Shit” wailed the band who were already gathering a following under the Majesty moniker.

The search for a new name was on. Some of the word combos which were considered bear recalling: Glasser (the name of their lawyer at the time), M-1, Magus. And some of my early submissions: Rancid Nipples, Foley Catheter, The Silver Beetles (note the creative spelling), Armpit Sweat, and my personal favorite, Asparagus Piss.

Michael read these to the band one night to a chorus of silly guffaws and boos. The search continued but seemed to lead nowhere. The name of the band seemed infinitely important at the time, although I would argue that the infamous band from Liverpool would have sold exactly as many albums even if they had called themselves... well, perhaps not Asparagus Piss.

Cut To C.U.

Father of now-famous drummer; seated in the first-row of a large, marvelous, old fashioned movie house in Monterey, California. It is a month later, early November of 1988.

The grey-haired man’s face is contorted, his eyelashes flicking frantically in what seems to be a losing battle to stay awake. He is nominally watching an extraordinarily boring movie by the great American film maker Martin Scorsese. The film is “The Last Temptation of Christ” and it is in its 3rd or 4th hour (or so it seems) with no end in sight. The elder Portnoy’s wife, Trish, has already left the theater, vowing to never, ever see another Scorsese film. We had, along with Michael, often gone to the revered movie palace to see ongoing revivals of “Rocky Horror Picture Show” and the sequel, “Shock Treatment”.

As the eyes close on the drummer’s Pop, his mind floats and remembers those wonderful other nights in the magnificent movie house. What a place to see a show. And Michael always loved it here, in the DREAM THEATER!!! A bell goes off in his head. He leans forward. The eyes shoot open.

“Nice name for a band,” he thinks.

“Nice name for that band,” he thinks, again.

He leaves the theater, exhilarated.

Cut To A Phone

The answering machine on the other end clicks on. A goofy message plays. Michael is not at home. A long beep.

“Now Michael, I want you to think about this one. I think it fits. See what you think and don’t react too quickly. I really like the sound of it and I think it fits the group.”

And the rest, as they say, is the rest.