Pulling Me Under

“For once in my life I have to make a decision for Mike Portnoy.” So the show must go on, but how? It’s time for Mike’s side of the story through his resignation statement, his sole radio interview on the subject and a frank and exclusive exchange with Rich Wilson for Prog.

I am about to write something I never imagined I’d ever write. After 25 years, I have decided to leave Dream Theater, the band I founded, led and truly loved for a quarter of a century.”

It’s with those words, released initially in a statement on Mike Portnoy’s website, that the drummer announced his departure from Dream Theater. Throughout rock history, musicians have quit bands, but usually such dramas can be predicted. There may have been long-standing tensions, jealousies, fights, backstabbing or even the catch-all-evil of “musical differences”. But Portnoy’s departure was unforeseeable, and for their fans – many of whom follow the band with an almost religious level of devotion – it has provided them with their own JFK moment. As absurd as it might sound, many of them will never forget where they were when they discovered one of their heroes had left the fold. From the perspective of impartial outside observers, any past internal strife appeared to have cleared with the band members coming to terms with the disparate personalities. Clearly though, for Portnoy to relinquish control of a band that he has effectively led for 25 years, the problems must have run deep. So where did it all go wrong? Seemingly, from Portnoy’s standpoint, the bond between him and the rest of the band had started to deteriorate to such an extent that he viewed an instantaneous band vacation as essential if Dream Theater were to survive at all.

“After having had such amazing experiences playing with Hail, Transatlantic, and Avenged Sevenfold this past year, I have sadly come to the conclusion that I have recently had more fun and better personal relations with these other projects than I have for a while now in Dream Theater,” wrote Portnoy in his resignation statement. “I’ve come to the conclusion that the DT machine was starting to burn me out and I really needed a break from the band in order to save my relationship with the other members and keep my DT spirit hungry and inspired. Please don’t misinterpret me, I love the DT guys dearly and have a long history, friendship, and bond that runs incredibly deep with them, it’s just that I think we are in serious need of a little break I honestly hoped the band could simply agree with me to taking a bit of a ‘hiatus’ to recharge our batteries and ‘save me from ourselves’.”

Expanding on those feelings in a radio interview with respected US radio DJ, Eddie Trunk, the drummer revealed that “all three of those projects, equally showed me how I was feeling very comfortable and happy and refreshed with some of these other bands. And I go back to Dream Theater and the relationships between the five of us were a bit strained. Everybody was kind of just burnt out on each other, sitting in different dressing rooms and not hanging out.... There was a bit of that strain, and 25 years together sometimes will do that. We love each other, we’re brothers, and we’re family, but sometimes you kind of grow apart and need some space, and that’s what I was feeling. And finally I brought it up to the guys and suggested, ‘Why don’t we just take a little bit of a break? We’ve been going non-stop for so many years, I think maybe a couple of years hiatus would do us good. It would give us each a chance to recharge our batteries and be re-inspired. And we just disagreed on that point. After this initial discussion, we went off for about a week or so to think about it, and we came back together a couple of nights ago to talk about it, and they didn’t want to budge. They really wanted to start the album in January, with or without me. I really felt if I was forced to go into the studio in January feeling the way I’m feeling, that my heart wouldn’t be in it and I would be going through the motions and not really doing what I really, really felt in my heart I should be doing, which is getting a breather. And that’s what happened. Basically, I was put in the position where I either had to do the album in January against my will or I had to say goodbye, and I chose to say goodbye. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life and I feel really sad about it, and those guys are really sad about it. It’s kind of weird that it came to this because none of us really wanted it, but inevitably this is the way it went down.’’

Portnoy is at pains to point out that the blame doesn’t lay with Avenged Sevenfold, and that the troubles were evident well before he recorded and toured with them. It’s also clear that he’s wounded by having to leave DT, but that such hurt doesn’t prevent him from rationalising the situation.

“It’s a weird kind of break-up, because it was a break-up where we still loved each other,” he said on the Eddie Trunk show. ‘‘They miss me and they’re sad about this, and I’m sad about it and I’m heartbroken, but we just strongly disagree. I mean, sure, the selfish side of me doesn’t want to think of that band without me, and I kind of wish we would have just taken a break, but then there’s the side of me that can’t hold them back. They’re my friends and they’re my brothers and if they really want to continue, then I can’t say no. I don’t want to be an a-hole and do that to them. It’s a strange situation, and luckily it ended on good terms and those guys have made it blatantly clear that the door is always open for me. It’s a weird thing because I’d go back to them in a heartbeat, just not now.’’

With speculation understandably rife on internet forums as to who might become Dream Theater’s next drummer, it became clear that speculation on his own website forum was distressing Portnoy. The drummer posted “Sorry gang, I hate to be a party pooper but all of the threads about ‘who should be the new DT drummer’ is really difficult for me to see right now... it’s just too hard for me to sit here and read everybody’s choices of replacements’ for me. Remember, I didn’t want to leave the band or have them continue without me and it’s still very hard for me to sit back and watch this kind of discussion. Right or wrong, no guy going through a divorce wants to watch some new guy immediately move into the home he built with his blood, sweat and tears for 25 years and fuck his wife. I’m just asking for some sensitivity for a little while. This is even harder for me than you guys! Thanks for all your support and understanding everyone.”

With emotions still raw and eschewing any Dream Theater-related interviews, Mike agreed to talk to Prog about the motives for his dramatic resignation. Answering the call: Rich Wilson.

Were you expecting the guys in the band to agree that Dream Theater needed an extended break?

Mike: “Well, I knew my proposal would be met with some shock and hesitation but I honestly hoped the guys would see my need for a break or a hiatus and respect it. It’s not the most insane request in the history of rock and many bands have done it, only to return bigger and stronger than before. Soundgarden, Rage Against The Machine, Jane’s Addiction, Faith No More, Alice In Chains, Megadeth, Phish.... Even Rush, Genesis and Pink Floyd have all taken extended breaks in order to keep the band together.”

Were you shocked and upset that they ultimately decided to go on without you?

Mike: ‘‘I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I’m devastated they chose to continue with out me rather than take a break. After giving my heart and soul, blood, sweat and tears to them and the band for 25 years, I hoped they’d value me and our relationship enough to respect my need for us to take a little break. I am truly heartbroken over their decision. I suppose it also kills me that in the past the guys never would question or ever debate my direction within the band. They always let me call the shots and always trusted my vision and guidance. And now, with such a huge and personal conflict they disagreed with me for the first time on the biggest decision of them all.

“Dream Theater is my baby and I never wanted to abandon my child. I only felt the parents needed a little breather to help save the marriage. The big irony here is that I wanted a break to help mend and strengthen our relations and ultimately bring us closer together. Now, by them choosing to move on without me, it is ultimately going to seriously damage our relationship as well as the DT legacy I spent so long building and protecting.”

Apart from wanting a break from the DT routine and the guys, was there any part of the music that you needed to escape from?

Mike: “Honestly, it had nothing to do with the music itself or the musical chemistry within the band. I was always very inspired when writing and recording together and am as proud of our last few albums as anything else in the catalogue. It really was more of the behind-the-scenes, personal relationships within the band. Yes, on the surface it may seem that life was great and full steam ahead for DT. Things like playing Download and Wembley, the recent Maiden tour in the US, the Top 10 entry on Billboard were all nice feathers in the cap but beneath the surface, there was a lot of friction and burn-out. I mean, we have one band member that would literally not even sit in the same room with the rest of us for years now and we’d only see him on stage or at meet and greets, and then other members just doing a lot of complaining about the day-to-day stuff. To me, these are obvious signs of wear and tear and a need for a break from each other in order to recharge and reignite the flame. On the other hand, I would go out on tour with Transatlantic or Avenged Sevenfold and all of the band members are hanging out, eating meals together and enjoying each other’s company. DT needed a break to rejuvenate our relationships.

Of course, in the wake of this split the four guys have to pull together to keep the band together, so I’m sure they will surely look at these issues and change them. I’m just saddened that they wouldn’t wait for me to do it.”

Do you regret your decision?

Mike: “Well, I absolutely hate the outcome and the situation I was put into to have to make it. But I could not honestly return to the band to make an album in January with out feeling resentment and being uncomfortable that I was forced into doing something I wasn’t ready to do. I’ve chosen the harder, more challenging road rather than the easier road. But my heart has never steered me wrong. I’ve always followed it and only done things that I knew would make me happy. At the moment, I am very happy playing with Avenged Sevenfold and I don’t want to stop doing something I am happy doing to go and do something I’m not very happy doing. I can not do something with my life and career because I ‘have’ to, I need to ‘want’ to do it. For 25 years now, I’ve made decisions for Dream Theater and our fans and for once in my life, I needed to make a decision for Mike Portnoy.

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Caught In A Whirlwind?

Jerry Ewing grills Roine Stolt on where Transatlantic fit into the Dream Theater affair...

“Did Mike say anything while we were on tour about DT? Nothing I can retell you here!”

Roine Stolt. quietly spoken guitarist and vocalist with Transatlantic, not to mention The Flower Kings and Agents Of Mercy (with whom he is appearing at Summer’s End festival, where we catch up), leans back and laughs. But is he only half joking?

“Mike maybe said one or two things while Transatlantic were on the road that perhaps made what happened understandable, but he certainly never came right out and said he wanted to leave the band or anything like that.” Stolt continues.

Did the announcement that Mike had decided to leave Dream Theater come as a surprise?

“Not really,” he replies, after careful consideration. “I mean, I know how important the band are to him and always have been. But I also understand the reasons behind why he’s come to the decision. It’s similar to how I was beginning to feel about The Flower Kings and why I decided to put the band on hold for a while. That album tour album cycle that Mike has mentioned, it was very much the same way I was feeling. We’ll go back to the Flower Kings at some point and I feel it will be better for having taken a break.”

Equally, does Portnoy’s decision to walk from Dream Theater mean there may be more life in Transatlantic? The gist of our last interview with the band (Prog 9) seemed to indicate The Whirlwind tour might have been their last.

“You never know,” muses Stolt. “We didn’t know Neal was going to phone up and say ‘Hey, why don’t we do a new album?’ before The Whirlwind. So you can never say what’s going to happen. But if Mike’s got more time on his hands, then I’d suggest more Transatlantic is a distinct possibility.”

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Lifting Shadows Off A Dream...

Rich’s final thoughts on the future of Mike and the band.

It’s hard to envisage Dream Theater without Mike Portnoy. In the same way that Lars Ulrich is Metallica’s talismanic figure and Steve Harris directs Iron Maiden, Portnoy was more than “just a drummer”. His role within the band was all consuming and encompassed many of the responsibilities that are usually delegated to managers. Of course, part of that was his obsessive-compulsive personality which meant that he’d rather do something right, rather than pass the buck and see it messed up. Without him, the band will adopt those tasks, and it’s clear from their actions – with the remaining members noticeably raising their individual profiles on internet forums, Facebook and You Tube – that they intend to do just that. You can also expect that the likes of bassist John Myung and guitarist John Petrucci will be lined up to do more press interviews in the next 12 months than they’ve probably done in the last five years.

It will be fascinating to see just who the band chooses to become their new drummer. Clearly, whoever it is will need to be technically adept enough to ensure they aren’t instantly labelled with the not-as-good-as-Portnoy tag, and there will be countless candidates. They’ll doubtless be from a similarly North American background and age, and have shoulders wide enough to support the reality that they might only be in the band for a couple of years. It will also be someone that the band have worked with in side-projects – or know through direct contacts – and that does narrow down the field. Renowned session-men such as Virgil Donati, Mike Mangini and Rod Morgenstein, or for outside bets, Slipknot’s Joey Jordison or Nick D’Virgilio are likely to be in New York over the coming weeks to put themselves through the audition process.

As for Portnoy himself, clearly he was desperate to escape the routine that Dream Theater was becoming, and after a quarter-of-a-century stint driving that band forward, nobody can begrudge him that. Judging by his responsibility-free role in Avenged Sevenfold, you can see him continuing with them for a few years, fitting in work with Transatlantic and whichever side-projects take his fancy. It would be astounding if he was never to return to DT, and although it’s impossible to predict when, it would be startling if this extended past five years. Consequently, Dream Theater’s next two albums may be viewed in the same way Relayer (when Rick Wakeman took a three-year sabbatical) is looked upon in the back-catalogue of Yes – an intriguing and distinct release before the classic line-up that everyone wants reunites.

It’s often challenging not to take sides in splits like this, but the reality is that Portnoy needed a break but the rest of the band didn’t. It really is as uncomplicated as that. Neither party can be criticised for the choices they ultimately made. The only consolation is that in a decade’s time, when retrospectively assessing Dream Theater’s career, all of this might be viewed as a transitory divide that aided the band to evolve and create some truly dazzling music.

Inset

“When you really sit down and think about it, I honestly think they kicked him out. When they made their demands to him, he couldn’t handle it. In the past, it was always the other way around and everyone accommodated Mike however he saw fit. This time around he finally got a taste of his own medicine and found it too bitter to swallow.”

David Prater (Dream Theater producer)