Mike Portnoy interview

Rockhok: The Shattered Fortress European tour, could you describe me what does it feel like to do it, one word.

Mike Portnoy: One word? Well, how about one phrase: strange déjà vu. It’s a strange déjà vu for me.

RH: Mike Portnoy, welcome to Rockhok. Thank you for your time, and a special thank you because it’s an after show interview and that doesn’t happen a lot.

MP: Not only does it not happen a lot, it’s never happened. This is my first after show interview. We should probably explain the reason why. We drove 14, 15, 16 hours from Sweden. We rolled into this show at, I think we got here at 7:30, that’s when doors were supposed to open. Usually we load in around 12 or 2pm.

RH: Yeah, you were supposed to be here at 3 I think.

MP: Yeah. So I have never done a show before where the crew got the stage up in, I think, 40 minutes. It was unbelievable. But because of that all the press and interviews got cancelled, or in this case postponed until after the show. So this is the first time I’ve ever done an after show interview. So I may not have the enthusiasm I usually do. I’m exhausted.

RH: Was there a lot of stress on the bus or what happens then when you’re like, “Oh my God”?

MP: No, no. We’re just hanging out waiting. I guess our tour manager stresses out, but yeah, we’re all just sitting around drinking coffee, watching movies, just patiently waiting to arrive.

RH: The Shattered Fortress, it’s like some kind of birthday present for yourself.

MP: Well not so much for myself. A birthday present for myself would be to stay home and not tour. This is a birthday present for the fans.

RH: Because you turned 50.

MP: Yeah. April 20th was my 50th birthday. And the long answer to this question is this came about because I was doing a 50th birthday concert on Cruise To The Edge, and it was a retrospective concert. So I had Flying Colors there, I had Transatlantic there, I did a Liquid Tension Experiment set, and then of course I had to do a Dream Theater set. The idea was for the first time ever I was going to do the ‘12 Step Suite’ that had never been done before. And that was it. It was just going to be for this 50th birthday concert on the cruise. And suddenly once word got out about that, I get invited to a festival in Spain, then a festival in Germany, and then I ended up having 10 days to fill between the festivals. So there was a bunch of promoters that offered shows, and then next thing I know we have a South American tour and an Australian tour. So this was never my intention. I guess it’s very exciting for the fans. I mean I’ve done a lot over the last six and a half years since leaving Dream Theater, but it was always new things with new bands, new experiments, new music, new collaborations, but never really looking back at Dream Theater. So it seemed like, OK, if there’s any time to do it, it’s my 50th birthday. I did it on the cruise, let’s do it and give the fans a treat to revisit this material with me on drums.

[Clip from the show – MP addressing the audience]:“I never thought I’d be playing this music again. Honestly, I didn’t know if I would ever play it again. I didn’t know how this tour was going to feel. And once we started, the emotions were absolutely overwhelming, and the love from the fans and the audience has been amazing. This has been an amazing experience for all of us.”

MP: Like I said during the show, this music is indeed very sacred to me, and I know it’s very sacred to the fans. And it was important to put together a band that can not only play this, but play it with conviction, play it with passion, just crush it. Haken was the perfect choice, and Eric Gillette added to the equation was a perfect addition. And here we go, we’re having a great time.

RH: We were watching the show and we were saying, “Those guys – Haken and Eric – they nail it.”

MP: Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean the thing is, I think first and foremost almost because they all listen to this music when it was coming out in the ’90s and the 2000s. So it’s a part of them as well; they grew up with it. They know this music. So they could play it with passion and conviction. It’s not like they’re just playing something that they’ve never heard before. They really can feel it and they’re nailing it. I mean they know the music better than me. They’ve been practicing this for months, whereas I’ve been the last couple months hopscotching between the Neal Morse Band and Metal Allegiance and my new band with Derek. So I’ve been doing all these other things the last couple months. I basically showed up for rehearsals like, OK, hm, how does this go? And I had to go off of my memory, and luckily I have a really good memory, so it all just came back immediately.

RH: The original plan, if I’m not wrong, was to actually do it with the guys from Dream Theater, but that didn’t work out.

MP: That was never the plan. When I first came up with the 50th birthday concert, or whatever, the invitation from Cruise To The Edge, and I invited Flying Colors, I invited Transatlantic, and I thought the right thing to do would be to invite the Dream Theater guys as well. So I did extend the invitation, at least to the couple of guys that I’m still friendly with. I wanted to give them first crack at joining me. They are friends of mine for a very, very, very long time, and we created the music together. So I, of course, extended the invitation to them first and foremost. And then once they said they were unavailable, that’s when I put together this great band.

RH: But that turned out well.

MP: Yeah, absolutely. To be honest, I understand those guys declining the invitation. I think people might have misinterpreted it and might have started to think that there was a reunion brewing, so I can understand why they turned it down. And for selfish reasons, for myself, in a way, I kind of liked it as well, because if they had come, suddenly the focus would have been on that, and, really, it was supposed to be a celebration of my whole career, with all the different bands, celebrating my 50th birthday. So, in a lot of ways, it turned out OK.

RH: So there's no hard feelings.

MP: No. I love those guys. I always try to extend the olive branch and keep the friendship alive. I do my best for that.

RH: About the setlist of tonight, of course there’s the ’12 Step Suite’ which is the most special thing going on tonight, but you also [chose] some songs from Scenes From A Memory. Why is this album so special to you?

MP: Well to be honest with you they’re all special to me. Scenes From A Memory happens to be one of my favorites. I have a soft spot for concept albums, so my favorite albums of my career happen to be the concept album Scenes From A Memory, The Whirlwind with Transatlantic, The Similitude Of A Dream with Neal Morse. I just love concept albums, and Scenes From A Memory was made at a time where it was do or die for Dream Theater. We were on the verge of possibly breaking up, and that was an important album for us. So anyway, when choosing the setlist, first and foremost I narrowed it down to only songs that I wrote lyrics to. There’s about, I don’t know, 30 odd songs in the Dream Theater catalog that I wrote the lyrics to. So first and foremost, I started with those songs, and I originally wanted to do ‘A Change Of Seasons’ for the encore. That was my master plan, and then I heard that they’re doing it, so that immediately scratched it.

RH: The last tour. That’s actually very respectful in a way from you, or shouldn’t they have done it on the other hand?

MP: Well that is a song that I wrote the lyrics to, and it’s a very personal song to me. I wrote that song about my mother dying in a plane crash, which you don’t get more personal than that. So—

RH: They shouldn’t have done it actually.

MP: Well that’s for you to judge. That’s not for me to publicly judge. And I would have liked to have done it on this tour, and I was planning on it, but once I heard they were… there’s plenty of other music to choose from.

RH: Since this is such a personal song to you, won’t you regret actually that you maybe never will play it again?

MP: No, I have plenty to work with. Once we started playing this setlist it was like wow, this is a great setlist. I did write the lyrics to all those songs that we played tonight from Scenes From A Memory – ‘Strange Déjà Vu,’ ‘Home,’ ‘Finally Free.’ Those are all my lyrics and vocal melodies. So I think that it was actually a very fulfilling set. It’s strange because it wasn’t intentional, but this entire setlist focuses on the Jordan era other than ‘The Mirror.’ So you have ‘The Mirror’ and then everything else is the Jordan era, because Dream Theater is out there right now doing the Kevin Moore era, and I’m about to embark on a new band with Derek, so I didn’t want to incorporate the Derek era here. And I think it’s a very fulfilling setlist. I looked at it on paper and I was like, “Is that enough songs?” But once we started playing it was like, “Man, this is a complete, fulfilling set”, and everybody leaves the shows just completely satisfied.

RH: What’s very important during the show is of course your songs for the ’12 Step Suite’. It’s about you coping with alcohol, getting rid of it. Is it still difficult or strange to talk about it for you?

MP: No, to be honest, I haven’t had a drink in 17 years. This is non-alcoholic beer by the way, so that’s OK. But I haven’t had any real alcohol in 17 years, and to be honest in my early sobriety when I wrote those songs it was very difficult. [From] 2001 to 2008, when I wrote those five songs, I was still struggling with sobriety. It was new for me. Working those 12 steps was something that was very, very important for me, and writing those songs was like doing the step work. I did them with a sponsor as well, the way you’re supposed to. But writing those songs was very therapeutic for me. Here we are 17 years later. I mean, yes, the battle with addiction never goes away. You’re always an addict, you’re always an alcoholic, you’re always gonna be struggling with that. But to be honest, doing these songs now, I think it’s more about the music and revisiting the Dream Theater material. To me, when we’re playing these songs, I’m not thinking about the 12 steps and the alcoholism and my struggle. I think maybe if we did these 10 years ago, maybe that would have been the focus. But now to me the focus is the celebration. It’s unfinished business. I’m finally getting to do it, get it out of my system before I move on to the next thing in my life. Honestly it feels great playing the Dream Theater material. I wasn’t sure how it was going to feel, and once we did the first show in London it was like, “Oh my God!” I felt the love from the fans and the emotion, and I could tell they’re really satisfied with this show, and it’s bringing back a lot of emotions and feelings for them, and for me as well. So I’m glad. I’m glad we’re doing it.

RH: If you look back at, let’s call it the dark times, dark period for you struggling, what did the day look like? I mean, how did you wake up?

MP: When I was still drinking? Well, there was 20 years of drinking, and the alcoholism progresses. So when I started drinking when I was a teenager it was like a weekend thing at parties or whatever. Then by the time I was 18, 19, 20, living on my own, then I was able to have alcohol around the house and drink whenever I want. At that point it became a daily thing. I’m a very obsessive compulsive person. I can’t do anything in moderation. I mean, look at my tattoos, it’s like everything is in excess. So that applied to drugs and alcohol as well. So I just was drinking and drugging every day, but still like responsibly. I wasn’t a day drinker. It was always a nighttime thing. And even when I was touring with Dream Theater, it was always at the end of the show, that’s when I would start partying. And at that point it was every night.

RH: When did you start to realize this is becoming a problem?

MP: In the late ’90s I was starting to realize; it used to be I would only drink after the show, then it started to be, “OK, well I could start drinking during the encore.” Then it was like, “All right, I could start drinking during the keyboard solo.” And then it was like, “All right, I can start drinking when the opening band is on.” And it just started getting earlier and earlier. I had bottles of liquor behind the drums at all times. I was drinking shots during the show and doing other drugs and things like that. And those last couple years, ’98, ’99, 2000, that’s when I realized, you know what, I no longer can control it. It’s completely controlling me, and I knew it was time to do something about it.

RH: It started in your early 20s. You’re now on tour with your son Max, he’s almost 20, so is this something you say, “Max, watch out for this”?

MP: I’ve never been preachy about sobriety. I think that’s a choice I had to make because I had an issue with it. But even these lyrics, they’re never preachy. They’re just me talking about my struggles. My daughter is 20 and she drinks. She could drink socially, so she does, and it’s not a problem for her. Max on the other hand, he’s 18 and he doesn’t want to drink by choice. I think I was an example for him of how it could become a problem. You know, he grew up with me sober since he’s been born. So I think he purposely doesn’t want to touch drugs or alcohol. He never has. And that’s his choice. If he started to drink or smoke pot or whatever, I wouldn’t condemn him. I was doing that at 13, 14, 15 years old. So it’s a personal choice for everybody.

RH: We had an interview with Next To None two months ago. They told us they all drink water and they’re very responsible guys.

MP: They are. Well, responsible, I don’t know. They’re responsible in the way that they don’t get drunk at a party, but they could be a little bit more responsible in terms of getting their gear off the stage a little quicker and packing up, but they’re learning.

RH: So you’re like their mentor on that part?

MP: Well, no, I’m a bad example for that because I’ve had a drum tech my entire career, so I’m a bad example. I just sit in the dressing room waiting after sound check.

RH: About your family, you becoming a dad, describe me that feeling. How does it feel for you?

MP: Well, Melody was born in May of ’98 when I was making Falling Into Infinity, and Max was born March of ’99. Max was born the day that Stanley Kubrick died. Stanley Kubrick’s my biggest hero of all time, and he died the day that Max was born. Max was born while we were making Scenes From A Memory. But yeah, when they were both born, it’s two of the greatest days of my life. And now here they are, 18 and 19, and each pursuing their own careers. Max is out with Next To None. They have their second album coming out. Melody goes to performing arts school in New York City. She wants to do musical theater. So it’s pretty amazing. They’re both great, great kids, and they love music. And luckily they grew up on tour with me, literally from the day they were born. They were on the road with me. I saw Melody take her first footsteps in Finland on tour. So they’ve grown up with this lifestyle.

RH: At this point, how sure are you that you will never get on stage with them again?

MP: Well, I normally dodge these questions, but I’ll answer it. The ball’s in their court, to be honest. I have no longing to reunite with them; it’s not something I necessarily am looking to do or want to do. I’m very content with all the 87 bands I currently have going, so it’s something I need. But I would do it for the fans, because I’m a very sentimental person and I have a lot of great, fond memories of those guys and the times. I’m a sentimental guy, so I would never close the door on it. So, really, the ball’s in their court, honestly. If you’re asking me the odds, I would say, don’t bet on it, because I know their personalities as well and I don’t think they’re the type that are looking backwards. Although they’re out there playing Images And Words, but that’s their choice.

RH: But in a way, it's one phone call away.

MP: Yeah, absolutely. I’m always a phone call away. I mean, I would reunite with them, I would reunite with Transatlantic, I would reunite with OSI, anybody. I’m generally, like I said, a sentimental guy and I don’t hold grudges. Life is too short for resentments and I always forgive. So yeah, the door is always open for me. But, that being said, like I said, it’s not something I’m looking for or wanting to do. I would be very content to never do it again, and this is some nice closure, with the Shattered Fortress shows. If this is the end, it’s giving me a nice feeling, and I think it’s giving the fans a nice feeling as well. If there’s more in the future, that’s their phone call to make.

RH: The future. I have a hashtag for you. The hashtag is Prog Metal Supergroup. It’s something from your Facebook page. Explain me.

MP: Well, there’s not much I can give away yet, but what is known is that Derek Sherinian and I have reunited and formed a new band. Derek has been nudging me for years, “Come on, let’s get back to progressive metal and reclaim your throne.” He’s been saying that to me for years. And it seemed like the time was right. We were able to fit it into our schedules and we formed a new band. There’s plenty of plans. I just can’t tell you about them yet. But they will all be revealed very, very soon.

RH: Very soon? What is very soon? It’s like weeks, months?

MP: The album is done. It’s a complete band, a five-piece band. It’s a vocal band. The lineup and details on the album will be revealed probably within the next month or so. So stay tuned.

RH: Looking forward. And all those 78 other projects?

MP: I’m trying to fit it all in. I’m in the middle of finishing up the second Metal Allegiance album. That’ll be coming out next year. There’s a live Winery Dogs Blu-ray DVD. I’m still touring with the Neal Morse Band. We have an American leg coming up and we’re going to have live releases from this tour as well coming in the future. Started work on a Flying Colors album, so we’re waiting to continue work on that.

RH: Metal Allegiance. Will it come to Europe one day?

MP: Yeah, I hope so. The problem with Metal Allegiance is it’s made up of guys that are all in other bands. I’m in 87 bands. David Ellefson is in Megadeth. Alex Skolnick is in Testament. Mark Osegueda is in Death Angel. Phil Demmel is in Machine Head. Gary Holt is in Slayer and Exodus. So all the guys that make up the core members are always busy doing other things. So when we do gigs it’s something that takes a lot of time to schedule. Usually they’re big events that get us all together. These are all my metal buddies. It’s like a metal brotherhood. The best way for Metal Allegiance to function is if we do festivals. Like if we get asked to do a festival, especially if it’s a festival that maybe Megadeth and Slayer and Testament and Anthrax are already on. So if we’re already all together, that’s the best way to arrange it.

RH: OK, so people who organize festivals, you heard the guy. Just book all those bands and then we have an extra band.

MP: We’ve done it. I mean, we’ve done it many times. We’re about to do a couple shows down in Mexico and it’s a bill where they have Anthrax and Death Angel and Overkill and Phil Anselmo with Superjoint. So that’s a situation where we’re all there, so we’re going to do some Metal Allegiance shows there as well.

RH: OK, we’ll do it in Europe.

MP: Yeah, bring it on. I love playing. I mean I do my prog things with Neal and Flying Colors and I have the Shattered Fortress and I have my prog metal stuff with Derek. But yeah, there’s the whole other side of me that’s into that thrash metal stuff, and all those guys and all those bands are good buddies of mine. So I have a great time with that as well.

RH: I have one more question, and it’s actually a running gag during our interviews. It started with Blaze Bayley. What is your biggest fear? His was bananas.

MP: Bananas?

RH: Yes. He was afraid that one day he would slip just when he—

MP: I could sit here and try to think of a funny answer, but I’ll give you the real answer. Well, it’s two things. My two biggest fears are prison and war. Like being a soldier in a war. Whenever I see movies of people in prison, that scares the s*** out of me. Or movies of people that are like soldiers in war. So those are my two biggest fears.

RH: You would be one of those guys that cries the very first night.

MP: Yeah, I’d be a p**** in both of those situations.

RH: OK, Mike, thank you very much for your time. It was a pleasure having you.

MP: Thanks, man.