Originally published in Metal Edge magazine
Metal Edge Asks-Rockin Roundup
Article16 min read
unknown
What is the most bizarre thing you’ve witnessed from the stage?
“I remember on June 21, 1995 – 2 minutes and 41 seconds into ‘Pull Me Under’ – John Myung actually moved!” – Mike Portnoy
unknown
Who do you look up to most, and why?
“My wife for actually being attracted to a hairy white Italian.” – John Petrucci
“No one, because you should search within for guidance and strength not outside of yourself.” – James LaBrie
“Frank Zappa. He was the most talented and gifted musician of this century and also a very funny and socially aware human being.” – Mike Portnoy
“Gary [Cherone], he’s always standing on my drums.” – Mike Mangini
unknown
How did you meet your significant other?
“I met my wife Marlene at the Concrete Foundations Forum in September of 1989. John Petrucci and I went there together and Marlene and Rena (John’s wife), who were there together.” – Mike Portnoy
“Through my circle of friends.” – John Myung
“I’m still available! All inquiries to Elektra Records.” – Derek Sherinian
“At high school in Man in Society class.” – James LaBrie
September 1993
What was the best pickup line you ever used?
“I’m usually too drunk to remember what I said!” – Mike Portnoy
“I don’t have one. That’s why I never have women.” – Kevin Moore
“Hi. Then I’d be really quiet and see if she’d talk to me. It worked.” – James LaBrie
“It’s time to move on to back rubs.” – John Petrucci
“I just say ‘Hi’ and feel out the feedback.” – John Myung
February 1994
“What was your most memorable birthday?”
“My 26th, because all my friends and family were there.” – James LaBrie
“My first birthday, and there hasn’t been one to top it since.” – John Petrucci
“My 26th, at Bogart’s in Cincinnati, OH” – John Myung
“My 12th birthday – my father took me to a Yankee game and caught a baseball, then we went for dinner and he gave me tickets to see Saturday Night Live (the classic original cast) that evening. Honorable mention: My 26th (last year) was great because I got to spend it hanging out in Glasgow, Scotland.” – Mike Portnoy
March 1994
If you won the million dollar lottery, what would you do with the money?
“Buy a house, give some to my family, build a recording studio, and invest it.” – John Petrucci
“Buy a house, a boat, and sail around the world.” – ,James LaBrie
“Give it back to my grandmother.” – Mike Portnoy
“Invest in squid, the fish of the future!” – John Myung
August 1994
People who knew me in high school thought I was...
“A madman.” – James LaBrie
“A determined, focused musician but maybe a bit strange and nervous because I was always tapping on my desk and a little hyper. My school band teacher hated me because I was this rock ‘n’ roll drummer that always challenged him in front of the rest of the class, but in the end tipped his hat by awarding me with the ‘big’ music scholarship at graduation (thanks, Mr. Kennedy!)” – Mike Portnoy
“Someone else.” – Kevin Moore
“Weird, burnt, and crispy with no preservatives.” – John Myung
“A mountain yak.” – John Petrucci
October 1994
What three words describe you best?
“Always f***ing hungry” – John Petrucci
“Compulsive, meticulous, and strongheaded (for better or for worse!)” – Mike Portnoy
“Pedantic hyperconscious somnambulist.” – Kevin Moore
“Very, very complicated.” – John Myung
December 1994
Unknown question
“Dream Theater’s ‘dark period’ between 1989 and 1991 when we were trying to find the right vocalist, get out of our bad record contract, find a new label, a new manager, new lawyer, etc., and at the same time had to try to remain optimistic and enthusiastic about the band. We made it through, a lesson to be learned.” – Mike Portnoy
“Two years in a Catholic high school.” – Kevin Moore
“Moving three times within six months in 1993.” – John Myung
“Going to St. Anthony’s High School for a year.” – John Petrucci
“The summer of ’92. I had no money.” – James LaBrie
January 1995
I’ve never been able to...
“Miss a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode.” – James LaBrie
“Play a flawless concert.” – John Petrucci
“Juggle blueberries and swallow marshmallows at the same time.” – John Myung
“Blow myself.” – Mike Portnoy
“Golf in the seventies, but I’m working on it.” – Mike Mangini
February 1995
What’s your idea of a great evening?
“A house party with lots of food, beer, and funny people.” – Mike Mangini
“Linguini and shrimp parmigiana from Vincent’s Clam Bar in Little Italy, a bottle of Dom Perignon, maybe a good flick, and a few hours with Marlene in our king size bed (talking of course).” – Mike Portnoy
“My wife and I recently saw Billy Joel at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto. That was an amazing evening!” – James LaBrie
“A cup of coffee and a stack of new Metal Edge Roundup questions.” – John Petrucci
“Playing bass with Lisa.” – John Myung
March 1995
If you could be reincarnated, who or what would you want to be?
“Any man, woman, animal, or cartoon in any period, as long as I was able to sing!” – John Petrucci
“Elle Macpherson’s vibrator.” – Mike Portnoy
May 1995
Do you believe in love at first sight?
“Yes, because I have.” – Mike Mangini
“Yes, because love doesn’t make appointments. It can show up at any time. My marriage is a result.” – John Petrucci
“No. I believe real true love is something that grows and becomes stronger with time. Aside from instant physical attraction.” – James LaBrie
“You can have lust or infatuation at first sight, but love is something you have to find on the inside, not the outside (that’s the most corny thing I’ve ever said!)” – Mike Portnoy
“Yes, I think there is reason why you feel that way, and you should pursue it and communicate with the person – that’s why they’re there.” – John Myung
June 1995
What do you want your tombstone to read?
“Waiting Time From This Point, Approximately 20 Minutes” – John Petrucci
“What Are You Doing in These Morbid Surroundings? Leave This Place and Remember Me As I Was, Not As I Am” – James LaBrie
“Born 1967, Died 2067” – Mike Portnoy
“Return to Sender” – Mike Mangini
August 1995
What’s the best thing you ever did for a fan... and the best thing a fan ever did for you?
“Played my best.”...”Got me into a sports event.” – Mike Mangini
“Cut my guitar solo by a few minutes.”...”Sang backups.” – John Petrucci
“I got two people all access passes to a sold out show”... “Three guys from Indiana gave me a ride to the hotel from the bus. I was having no luck with cabs.” – James LaBrie
“Gave me a ride to the train station.” – John Myung
“Kept my shirt on while playing”...”Drove me to the nearest Taco Bell when there was no catering at the venue.” – Mike Portnoy
September 1995
What would you do if you were the only person on earth?
“I’d own it.” – Mike Mangini
“Learn to speak to animals.” – John Petrucci
“Hope that I could blow myself.” – James LaBrie
“Turn off my answering machine.” – Mike Portnoy
“I’d go to the zoo.” – John Myung
August 1996
Can you tell us about your first car?
“A 1958 burgundy Mercedes 190 sedan, mint condition. Like a schmuck, I blew the engine and ruined the car.” – Derek Sherinian
October 1996
What’s always in your refrigerator?
“Grey Poupon Mustard.” – Derek Sherinian
February 1997
What was the biggest mistake you ever made?
“Taking time for granted.” – Derek Sherinian
April 1998
If you could be any fictional character, who would it be?
“Eric Draven.” – John Myung
“Michael Corleone.” – Derek Sherinian
“Dracula.” – James LaBrie
“Tony Montana.” – Mike Portnoy
“Major Nelson – I Dream of Jeannie.” – Mike Mangini
June 1998
What world’s record would you most like to hold?
“Most consecutive days with a three minute giggle fit.” – Mike Mangini (dunno if have other DT members)
August 1998
If you could be the lover of any celebrity – past or present – who would you choose?
“Jenny McCarthy.” – Mike Mangini
“Linda Hamilton.” – James LaBrie
“Elle McPherson and Phoebe Cates (together of course!)” – Mike Portnoy
“Rachel Welch in the ‘70s.” – Derek Sherinian
October 1998
What’s your guilty pleasure?
“Online junkie.” – Derek Sherinian
“Cigars.” – Mike Mangini
April 2000
If you could run any organization or company, which would it be? Why?
“Microsoft because then I wouldn’t be spending my time answering these f***ing questions.” – James LaBrie
“Elektra Records... And renegotiate my contract.” – Mike Portnoy
January 2002
What are you most grateful for?
“My family and my career.” – James LaBrie
“My parents supporting my musical pipe dream.” – Derek Sherinian
April 2002
What is one thing you’d be happy not knowing?
“That we are mortals.” – James LaBrie
“I would be happy not knowing my low soundscan numbers.” – Derek Sherinian
October 2004
If you could live in any time period, which would you choose?
“In the present.” – Derek Sherinian
https://vk.com/wall-79761919_154992?lang=en
(translated from Russian by DeepL)
What unusual body part have you pierced?
“My liver. I’m pretty sure.” – Mike Portnoy
http://www.rock-archives.ru/rock-archive/other/metal_edge_zadaet_vopros.html
What’s your wildest sexual fantasy?
“I would love to have sex with a stunning oriental beauty!” – James LaBrie
“I used to dream of fucking Phoebe Cates, except she got a haircut and married Kevin Klein.” – Mike Portnoy
“Sex with Tori Amos on the piano!” – Kevin Moore
“Sex in the course of a guitar duel!” – John Petrucci
If you could replace any of the musicians in your band, who would you choose?
“No thanks.” – James LaBrie
Who would you trust to write your autobiography?
“Annie Rice. She would have managed to write a much more interesting and compelling book.” – James LaBrie
“Woody Allen.” – Mike Portnoy
What else did you want to call your band?
“We did Majesty from 1985 to 1988, we thought of Magus, M1, Glasser and a lot of other terrible names until my dad suggested Dream Theater.” – Mike Portnoy
If you could own any building, which one would you choose?
“Playboy Mansion.” – Mike Portnoy
“Trump Plaza.” – James LaBrie
What is your most annoying habit?
“Don’t skimp on toilet paper.” – John Petrucci
“Using my own hair instead of cotton swabs to clean my ears.” – James LaBrie
“Wearing green pants on Thursdays.” – John Myung
“Listening to notes on the answering machine, asking for directions and not listening to explanations, and flushing the toilet, only to pee.” – Mike Portnoy
What is your definition of “cool”?
“Never backing down under pressure, no matter the circumstances.” – John Petrucci
“North winds at 5-10mph per hour, and 30% relative humidity.” – John Myung
“Chocolate Ice Cream Dessert.” – James LaBrie
“Howard Stern.” – Mike Portnoy
What song would you most like to cover?
“In Held Twas In I” – Procol Harum. Well, so, between 1995-96, Dream Theater played every song in existence.” – Mike Portnoy
Which stars have really impressed you?
“Woody Allen, Stanley Kubrick, David Lynch, Alfred Hitchcock, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Howard Stern, Roger Waters, Frank Zappa and all the musicians of The Beatles.” – Mike Portnoy
“Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth.” – Derek Sherinian
What was your biggest mistake?
“Wasting time on gifts.” – Derek Sherinian
If you could invite three historical figures to dinner, who would you choose?
“Jesus Christ, Adolf Hitler and Frank Zappa.” – Mike Portnoy
What’s your favorite album of this year (1998)?
“Liquid Tension Experience, Platypus – When Pus Come To Shove, Chroma Key – Dead Air For Radios, Fates Warning – Still Life, Galactic Cowboys – At The End Of The Day”. – Mike Portnoy
Most terrifying moment of your life?
“Jumping ‘stupidly’ 46 meters high. At that time, a piece of rubber prevented me from crashing.” – James LaBrie
“Survived an earthquake in Kobe, Japan, while on the 27th floor in my hotel room.” – Mike Portnoy
“My first audition for Alice Cooper’s band.” – Derek Sherinian
Do you have any secret, invisible tattoos?
“Nothing secret, I have eight tattoos and all in plain sight. A picture of John Lennon on my left arm, the name ‘Mickey’ in Japanese on my right shoulder. ‘Twin Peaks’ on my right calf, ‘Carpe Diem’ for my mom on my left forearm, a footprint of my daughter Melody taken the day she was born, this tattoo is on my back. The infinity symbol on my left wrist, and other tattoos related to music and Dream Theater.” – Mike Portnoy
If they made a movie about you, who would you choose to play you?
“Abe Vigoda.” – Derek Sherinian
“Christy McNichol.” – Mike Portnoy
“Ross Perot, I’m sure he would have masterfully and truthfully beaten all the odd features of my character.” – James LaBrie
In what decade would you have preferred to be a rock star?
“The ‘70s.” – Derek Sherinian
What’s your favorite Halloween costume?
“Paul Stanley.” – Derek Sherinian
Name your three favorite albums.
“Van Halen, Ozzy Osbourne – ‘Diary Of The Madman,’ Aerosmith – ‘Rocks.’” – Derek Sherinian
What kind of career were you predicted in high school?
“A career as a junkie!” – Derek Sherinian
What nickname would Zakk Wylde give you?
“Clancy (“Son of the Red Warrior”)...he’s been calling me that for ten years now.” – Derek Sherinian
What was your last job before signing your first album deal?
“At the Guitar Center music store in Sherman Oaks, California.” – Derek Sherinian
Which band impressed you the most?
“Van Halen (before Valerie).” – Derek Sherinian
What’s your favorite cartoon?
“Bugs Bunny.” – Derek Sherinian
What song would you like to have written?
“Hmmm...there are so many of these songs, and I can’t pick just one. Here are just a few that I can think of right now: ‘A White Shade Of Pale’ by Procol Harum, ‘The Great Escape’ by Marillion, ‘Orion’ by Metallica, ‘La Villa Strangiato’ by Rush, ‘Diary Of A Madman’ by Ozzy Osbourne, ‘Thank You’ by Led Zeppelin, ‘Close To The Edge’ by Yes, ‘Go The Way You Go’ – Spock’s Beard, ‘Three Days’ – Jane’s Addiction, ‘Paranoid Android’ – Radiohead, and the whole second side of the Beatles ‘Abbey Road’ album, and all from Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’ CD.” – Mike Portnoy
What secret of your personality would surprise other people the most?
“That I’m not really a confident drummer!” – Mike Portnoy
What world record would you yourself like to be proud of?
“Iron Man.” – John Myung
“Highest amount of money per note – then playing Dream Theater, I’d be richer than Sultan of Brunei.” – Derek Sherinian
“Champion of water consumption at any concert.” – James LaBrie
“I’m close to being the owner of the world’s largest collection of albums, videos, CDs and magazine libraries.” – Mike Portnoy
What’s your favorite TV show?
“Welcome Back Kotter.” – Derek Sherinian
What is your most unpleasant childhood memory?
“I blew the engine on my first Mercedes because I didn’t understand that it needed more oil.” – Derek Sherinian
“The first trauma was the death of John Lennon in 1980, then even worse, my mother died in a plane crash in 1984.” – Mike Portnoy
What's the wildest party you've ever been to or organized?
“I’m going to have an unforgettable party this summer. Everybody’s welcome.” – Derek Sherinian
If you could be any animal, which one would you be?
“A bull. I’m a stubborn, moody, big, noisy and clumsy guy by nature.” – James LaBrie
Name your five favorite records
“Van Halen ‘Fair Warning,’ Jeff Beck ‘Wired,’ Aerosmith ‘Rocks,’ Ozzy Osbourne ‘Blizzard Of Ozz’ and Bruford ‘One Of A Kind.’” – Derek Sherinian
“The Beatles ‘Sgt. Pepper’, Pink Floyd ‘The Wall’, Led Zeppelin ‘The Song Remains The Same’, Mr. Bungle’s eponymous album, and Jelly Fish ‘Split Milk’. – Mike Portnoy
“Pink Floyd ‘The Wall’, Yes ‘Fragile’, Rush ‘Hemispheres’, Queen ‘A Night At The Opera’ and Aerosmith ‘Rocks’”. – James LaBrie
If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
“I would jump out of a plane without a parachute.” – James LaBrie
“I’d meditate.” – John Myung
“I'd screw my wife until I win!” – John Petrucci
“I would’ve had fun my wife and my kitties and then had a 24-hour Twin Peaks marathon.” – Mike Portnoy
(posts range from 29032 through 29258 – 96 posts in all)
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29035
Who is your favorite superhero?
“Gene Simmons.” – Derek Sherinian
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29063
If your finances allowed, where would you like to live?
“In Hawaii. I’d get up every morning and go play golf, then sit on the beach, swim, drink and eat until I had to go to bed.” – James LaBrie
“In a huge penthouse in Manhattan. – Mike Portnoy
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29064
What’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?
“We’re an independent label and we’re sponsored by a major like MCA. It’s the best of both worlds! All you have to do is sign contracts and you’ll be in good hands. Yeah, that’s right!” – Mike Portnoy
“Don’t play so often in gloomy tones and you’ll go far!” – Kevin Moore
“Buy this apartment. You’ll love it.” – John Myung
“Take the express bus from Baltimore to New York.” – John Petrucci
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29065
What’s the best revenge you ever had? (question is accurate)
“I’ll get revenge when I start my own magazine and make all the editors answer my questionnaire.” – John Petrucci
“I was once at a party where a guy was being very rude to a lot of girls. Then he got drunk and passed out and I peed on him!” – James LaBrie
“Stole a cookie jar.” – John Myung
“I got my revenge on all the people who’ve been bugging me for the last 28 years: I answer this magazine and you don’t!” – Mike Portnoy
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29072
What’s the weirdest concert program you’ve ever been on?
“We performed in Germany with Rod Stewart, Status Quo and one Italian pop star, Eros Ramazzotti. It may have been the most unpleasant 60 minutes I’ve spent on stage. We played first. Last summer we also played in Finland and Slayer and Pantera played before us. I like both bands and got along great with them, but it was a little unusual for a band like Dream Theater to listen to the brutal intensity of those two bands!” – Mike Portnoy
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29074
What’s the strangest object you’ve ever autographed?
“It’s always fun to sign boobs, but for a rock band, it’s common. I mean, I’ve signed fans’ cars, and a prosthetic leg.” – Mike Portnoy
“A wooden leg.” – Derek Sherinian
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29075
What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you since your hangover?
“Wake up without a hangover!” – Mike Portnoy
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29080
If you could consult with someone, who would it be?
“With my mom.” – Derek Sherinian
“With Rick Martin – I’d ask him how I could get a big, fuckin’ horse that would shoe my ass like he did.” – James LaBrie
“With Howard Stern.” – Mike Portnoy
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29087
I have no equal when ....?
“Avoiding the question.” – John Petrucci
“In making spaghetti seasoning.” – James LaBrie
“My awesome collection of videos, CDs, magazines, and stuff in boxes. I’m a complete collector and I don’t know how I’m going to get rid of it all.” – Mike Portnoy
“I’m the best at making chicken soup.” – John Myung
“When you put the coins on your elbow and then sharply wave your hand and catch them. I do it the best.” – Kevin Moore
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29088
If you could revive one day from your past, what day was it, and would you have done things differently?
“My wedding, I wouldn’t change a thing.” – James LaBrie
“Last summer when my dream came true and I met Ringo. After a brief conversation, he turned me around so we could take a picture together and my camera had just run out of film! I will regret this for the rest of my life. Also, I will never show impatience when a fan tries to take a picture with me.” – Mike Portnoy
“October 16, 1989, the day I got hired by Alice Cooper’s band during the Trash tour.” – Derek Sherinian
“The day our band signed our first record deal. I would convince them to wait for a better contract.” – John Myung
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29090
If you wanted to be like someone, who would you choose?
“Mel Gibson.” – John Petrucci
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29099
What would be the first thing you would save (of items) if there was a fire in your house?
“My cat T.C.” – John Myung
“My family pictures.” – Derek Sherinian
“My dog Bongo, and my two cats E.T. and Stinkey. Then I would save my laserdisc collection and my Dream Theater DAT tape collection.” – Mike Portnoy
“Indian Antiques.” – James LaBrie
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29113
What is your favorite holiday?
“Fourth of July, we wouldn’t have any holidays if it wasn’t for that day.” – Derek Sherinian
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29127
March 1997
What was the best rock concert you went to?
“Van Halen in 1980. Rock entertainment at its finest. P.T. Barnum would have been proud!” – Derek Sherinian (response and issue are accurate)
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29136
Most unusual place you’ve ever had sex?
“At the Yugoslav Casino.” – Derek Sherinian
https://vk.com/wall1136557_29137
December 1998
What was your favorite childhood toy? (question and issue are accurate)
“My tape recorder.” – Derek Sherinian, Mike Portnoy