James LaBrie interview (excerpts)

Dream Theater singer James LaBrie, who celebrated his 33rd wedding anniversary to his “high school sweetheart” last September, was asked in a recent interview with “The Mistress Carrie Podcast” to name his secret to a happy, loving marriage. He responded (as transcribed by blabbermouth.net): “I think it would come down to the individuals. As far as keeping a marriage together, it’s all about compromise. It’s all about understanding. It’s all about – definitely one hundred percent, first and foremost – respect. You have to respect one another and appreciate one another. And, yeah, you’re gonna go through your lows and your highs. Everyone has these moments of... Or even consternation I can think of, where you’re, like, ‘What the hell is going on here?’ But I would say that those points are the most important. You have to be willing to compromise. You have to be willing to be extremely understanding, respectful, compassionate and caring, considerate.”

Asked if keeping a band together is harder than keeping a marriage together, James said: “Once again, it comes down to the individuals, their personalities. And I’ve said this several times in a lot of interviews. I’ve said you’ve gotta think about when you are married, that’s one person that you’re dealing with and that you want to get to know intimately, and through the years you do – I would hope you do. But I said, with bandmembers, however many bandmembers you have, that’s how many people you have to figure out and you have to come to an understanding. Because we all have our idiosyncrasies; we all have our good points and our bad points. And it’s a little bit of a whirlwind. And I think that’s why a lot of bands don’t stand the test of time, is because we’re all coming from a different place, and at times you have some huge frickin’ head banging going on. And it’s not behind the sense of the song; it’s just these personality conflicts. And then you’re also in a creative environment. So that in itself is a very sensitive situation to be in. And you have to be respectful and at times very diplomatic. Because if you don’t like something that somebody’s presenting, you don’t just go, ‘Dude, that sucks.’ So you have to be, ‘No. You know what? I’m not hearing it. I don’t feel it. I’m sorry. Can we try another angle? Can we approach that a little differently? Let’s kind of twist and bend it, or whatever, to get around it.’ Because, yeah, it’s just difficult.

“I would definitely say that... band... I think with marriage, I would hope that you’re worried about the repercussions if you don’t smarten up,” James added. “With band, yeah, there are repercussions, but at the end of the day, if you can’t really stand being around that person, you do have the option to [walk away].”